Why This Bird Didn’t Sing or An Allegory on Beliefs

Allegories are stories, poems, or pictures that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one.  They are metaphors.  Metaphors are ideas regarded as representative or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract.  They create images and provoke thought, comparison, connection.  Jesus taught in allegory.  His parables were simple and profound, and while the experts disagree, there have been 42 unique tales commonly attributed to this master teacher.

My favourite of Jesus’ parables has always been “The Mustard Seed”.  So simple.  So profound. A perfect image for the ‘Kingdom of God’ being one of the smallest of seeds…(A mustard seed is about this big:  ‘O’ if you are using a Calibri 11 font)…bigger than a poppy or sesame seed …but yields a tree that is 3 metres in height!  In other words, the image for what is inside You, your Divinity, that has been created from the Source (the Kingdom of God), with nurturing, can grow to be a large, beautiful, and functional Being-ness (shelter for the birds, again an image of a much larger Kingdom of freedom and peace) which of course then recreates itself, as trees do.  The intent of the tale and the significance of the images convey the meaning, which is ‘allegory’.

The greatest teachers use story-telling to get their messages across. My favourite of all allegories has to be “Plato’s Cave”.  I invite you to re-familiarize yourself with it on a regular basis, because, as with all great allegories, the meanings change as you grow in awareness.  It means something totally different to me now than it did even four years ago.  Looking back to my first study of The Cave in Grade 12 English Lit.  class, not to mention before that when, as a ten year old, I stumbled upon the concept of Plato’s Cave in an ancient Encyclopedia Britannica (1911) while researching a speech, the transformation in my understanding is quite amazing to me.  The allegory of course hasn’t change, but I sure have.

So it is with the stories of your life.  All of them, every single one that you can recall and re-tell for yourself,  are allegories for You, for who you are.  When appreciated and reviewed from your current point of view, I promise you that they will guide you to making some awesome discoveries.

As promised from my previous blog, I offer below my simple (?) allegory to show how our beliefs, formed so innocently in our childhood, can have major impact on our whole life, .  (And, yes, Beloveds, I was asked to share, otherwise, be your own guru!)

Remember in my last blog post, I had been discussing gender beliefs and suggesting that they could be eliminated if not adjusted, because we are in a different world from our ancestors, and even now in this present moment, in a different space from when the ideas were first placed in our awareness.  This means of course that there has been a transformation and these once useful, and maybe even well-cherished beliefs, no longer serve us.  In fact, they may be getting in the way of You being You.

I said that I would not be giving an analogy related to gender issues because as I said, you’re on your own for questioning those and all beliefs that you might like to put under the Mindful Microscope.  But here’s the example that I hope will help to clarify the insidiousness of some beliefs we hold, and thus, underline the importance of discarding the ideas  once and for all, now that you have awakened to their now ‘useless’ existence !

First, I’ll tell the story:

Once upon a time there was lovely little girl who woke up every morning singing in full voice.  Singing made her feel good, and feeling good inspired her singing.  It was a beautiful thing! When singing, she felt so happy in her heart.

Then one day, Father, who did not sing, though often was heard to whistle happy tunes, said to his songbird daughter when she bounced down the stairs to sit at the breakfast table in the sunny kitchen: “Daughter, it is time for me to tell you this fact of life.  You are old enough to learn this now.”

The little girl felt excited, and her eyes shone with pride.  “I am a big girl now!” she assured her father adoringly, and anticipated the secret she was now old enough to have revealed to her.

The man tilted his head and looked at his daughter across the table. His bowl of porridge steamed in front of him.  Pointing his poised spoon in her direction, the little girl’s father declared: “When you sing before you eat your oatmeal, you will have a reason to cry before you go to sleep tonight.”

The little girl stared at her father in astonishment.  What!  “No!” she cried out in instant horrified rejection of this truth.  Ashamed of her outburst, she focused her gaze upon her cereal bowl, and shoved a spoonful of the cooling potage  between her lips.  Just then, an evil fairy flew into the room, hovered over the table and pointed her twisted wand at the little girl’s throat. The mouthful of oatmeal felt thickly stuck in her throat in a huge sticky lump.  Then, with a tinkly wicked laugh, the fairy dipped over the table, glancing appreciatively at her own tiny reflection in the shiny toaster, and then POOF!, she disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.

Swallowing the oatmeal with great difficulty, the pain causing tears to seep down her cheeks, the little girl jumped up from the table and ran to her room where she stayed till shadows darkened the walls and crept into her heart.   She fell asleep with her daddy’s words repeating in her mind.

The next morning, the sweet child awoke with a happy heart, leapt out of bed and began to sing her appreciation for the new day.  No sooner had the first notes lifted from her heart to her throat than she felt them bump up against a solid wall and stay stuck there.  Try as she might, she could not get the tune out.  Not one note!  Running to the bathroom, the little girl took a drink of water.  Staring in the mirror she watched her mouth form the words, ” Oh what a beautiful morning..” but no sound came out.

Like a flock of blackbirds, the events of the day before came swooping into her memory and the little girl flung her hand to cover her mouth, eyes wide in horror.  “I have a spell on me”, she whispered to her mirror self.  “I cannot sing anymore.”  Sadness overwhelmed her, and fear soon followed:  “I can never sing again.  I might not even be able to speak any more.  How will I break this spell?  Who can help me?” ….

To be continued…  (If you should ask)

caged bird singingLTOYW! I love you!  Cath

Who Can Change Their Minds?

Well done, Beloveds!  The first response to my latest blog, published on February 16th, was a phone call from my dinner companion whom I wrote about previously, and she pointed out what she perceived as a major discrepancy in my recent article:  “You used a gender comment at the beginning of the blog post, referencing your right to change your mind because you are female, and then you go on to comment on how human beings have been conditioned to our gender beliefs and that we need to re-think our beliefs.”  She asked for clarity.

So thanks for asking, Little Moon!  Here is my reply:

Gender-based beliefs, also known as stereotypes, do have their uses and the statement that I am allowed to change my mind “because I am female”, was made to underline the perfidity of that and similar gender-based beliefs.  In other words, it was an arrow shot out of my bow with the intention of pricking a soft spot, and it did!  Of course anyone can and should change their minds, and I want all Beloveds to change their minds on everything.  I want you to question everything you have ever believed about anything and see if it is really true for you and if you still need to believe it.

Start with all the gender type-casting beliefs that you have ever held.  Anything that tells you that a male or female identity qualifies the owner with specific (of species) traits or aspects, that the other gender does or does not have, and which specially (as in of the species) qualifies one or the other to have a leg up on survival, so to speak.  Don’t just think your ideas.  Actually get still and be quiet, do your mindfulness breathing, ask your inner wisdom, and listen.  If you are unable to come up with some gender notions to question that is indeed AWESOME!  And I am not going to suggest any gender notions to be questioned, for the exact reason I am attempting to get across to you this uber important, ultimate, paramount fact:  You know the answers!  You are the Wise One.  Trust your innate wisdom on this!

However, should a gender notion come up for you, and then you go inside to question its validity, trust that this is a belief you hold, and that it is true for you, the every day, ego-self you. Your nervous system holds on to the belief in order to keep you safe.  If you state the belief when you go inside, and then feel a signal in your body of discomfort, or what I like to call “yuck”, that’s a signal that you are holding onto an idea that may not be serving you any more.  It is a ‘true’ belief for you.  But, don’t confuse that with The Truth, because it’s not.

The real Truth is that a gender designation is not who You true-ly are, and does not define or limit you unless you allow it to, which is fine, if it’s serving to keep you secure and protected.  But if it no longer serves you as a belief, especially if it is particularly uncomfortable when you run it by your internal “Yum-Yucker”, then it can be changed, altered, replaced or discarded if you choose.   If it’s a thought about the way you see the world and you are not finding it useful anymore, if it is interfering with your comfort, then simply thank the energy for being there for you for all these years,  and then tell it “You can go. I don’t need you anymore, right now.”  Try not to conceptualize anything, just keep noticing the feeling in your body as you have this conversation with your own energies.

There’s a simple analogy I can share with you, not related to gender issues because you’re on your own for questioning these and all beliefs that you might like to put under the Mindful Microscope. But for an an example that might help to clarify, as I have been asked to do, please catch my next blog.

For now, suffice it to say, that dialoguing with your own energetic Inner Self, your Innocent Inner Child, will allow you to eliminate these conditioned, self-limiting, sometimes downright insidious, beliefs from your nervous system.  If the belief is “Yucky”, it no longer serves you, though have no doubt that it once did or it would not be there.  But “yucky” is not who you are.   I cannot  underline enough the importance of first acknowledging the ideas and appreciating them for once being useful to your energy system, even if it was in a past life or what is very common, an inherited belief from ancestors, especially through your parents. Then, once you have done this, if the notions are no longer serving You— the boss of your own energy — the system is so smart, it will just let the ‘yucks’ go in a brilliant example of cosmic conservation.

Just try it!  And remember, if you would like more clarification using an analogous example of how our beliefs can  influence us and how by changing them, we change our whole world—or if you would just like to read an interesting personal flat earthstory— then please, just  ask!

Till next time…



Love, Cath

The Non-Blog Post Blog Post, or How to Play Chess With the Universe

In my last post I related the account of dinner with my friend and former student,  who was miffed that I had decided and declared (see my February 4th post) that I no longer needed to be needed and therefore would no longer be teaching or healing as Cathy Millage Heart Healer nor writing any more blog posts. (well, I am female, and reserve the right to change my mind)

The fallout, to my amusement, continues swirling all around me with calls and curious questions, even from people I haven’t heard from for years.  A few are merely curious, some are worried about having to find a new practitioner or teacher, and two are genuinely concerned about me as in “Are you okay, Cath?  Are you in crisis mode?”  I had no idea at the time that the choice I had made in my own awakening, to liberate my Beloveds to be their own gurus, would lead to such a reaction.

And I find it rather ironic, too, for the reason I will explain in my next blog post if anyone cares to know,  that my desire to have others focus their energy on going within to find the answers, and to practise Love TOY Wisdom for themselves, without depending on me or anybody or anything outside of themselves, would draw so much attention back to me.   In other words, by letting go of the need to teach and to heal others, in order to have them experience for themselves their own internal GPS,  and in so doing, to allow myself to become non-attached to external energies of any kind, the Universe, in response, sent me a plethora of entities to deal with!

It’s a Great Big Universal Tease!  As in:

“Okay, Cath, you want to disengage from the need to be needed and the compulsion to be heard because you feel it’s a manifestation of ego that you have become aware is no longer serving you or your students, so We’ll (that’s the Universal We…the Collective Energies, The Archetypes of Awesome)…We’ll show you where that gets you!   Here’s some more stuff for you to play with! Now what’s your next move?”

How does a soul play chess with the Universe?


Great question!

Attracting all this attention has led me to ASK my Innocent Inner Child Cath: “Why is this choice causing this response? ”

Asking is a new aspect of the LTOYW practice that I have learned to do from this same great spiritual teacher, G.P. Walsh, of the Master Heart Institute, (check him out here: http://MasterHeartInstitute.com ) who teaches when suffering arises: “Go within and Ask the Energy!”  The energy is always signaled by an emotion  (think: energy in motion)–something that is nonlocal (that is not tangible in the world of time and space) and therefore very close to the highest vibration of our own soul.  The emotion then embodies as a feeling located in the nervous system of what G.P. calls our amazing Human Instrument, the very local body, definitely found in the sensory world of time and space,    Then, we ask the feeling “What are you saying to me?  What do I need to know here?”

So, that’s exactly what I did.  I went within, precisely as I am encouraging everybody to do to find all the answers they could ever be looking for,  for themselves.

Go within!  This is called mindfulness in many traditions.  It is definitely something everyone is capable of doing, but here’s the ‘catch 22’:  most of us in our western society and culture have been taught by the Tribe, the purveyors of safety, rules, and procedures, for generations and lifetimes, that it’s not appropriate to go within to get in touch with our feelings.  And the males of our species have been conditioned even more greatly than the females to deal in specific (rooted in ‘species’) acceptable ways with their feelings.

We have even been taught that because of certain hormones, and physical aspects of our bodies females are more emotional than males and it’s “Just their Nature” to behave in certain ways.  Talk about self-fulfilling!  Gender labeling of emotions and specific characteristics over the generations, has caused so many identity issues ,  which are fortunately now coming to the surface of our societal soul to be loved, healed and cleared.

In the meantime, we get born into a family, a human family called a tribe, into a culture of conformity that dictates who we are and how we are supposed to behave, which may or may not be true for each individual and unique spiritual being who emerges on the planet.

Part of this altruistic, yet not all-truth-istic motivation of the Tribe, dictates that certain feelings are “uncomfortable” (BIG neon sign flashing here for you:  JUDGMENT!  LIMITATION!) or some feelings are “yucky” (FLASH! FLASH!) or even “bad” (OMG!) and to avoid these certain feelings at all costs.  It’s denial of a very big part of who we really are when we believe that sadness is to be shunned, anger is to be disguised, grief is painful so needs to be soothed,  fear is harmful, and pain and suffering need to be eliminated.

These are our feelings, dammit! and they come from the same Source energy as happiness, compassion, romance, pleasure and peace.  They are just feelings: not problems to solve nor challenges to be overcome nor situations to be dealt with.  They are opportunities to grow and to expand; they are signals from Source, through our soul selves that we are alive!  We are having experiences and this is what it is like to be a human being!  So, Celebrate!  (again, more on this “Life as Celebration” idea in a future blog, should you ask for it )

It’s All who we are!  Keeping some feelings and sending other feelings to the basement is what leads to dis-ease because we are denying our own Source energy manifesting as an embodied human being!  (more on this in a future blog, should I be asked)

We, as individual expressions of God-ness, are perfect just the way we are.  It’s all okay or it wouldn’t be!  It is, so it is!  Now the task becomes getting in touch with what is; with that which is within that may have been suppressed or repressed in shame or fear.  Are we then to be ashamed of God, acting as us?  Of course not!  This is where mindfulness comes in! We figure out what the feelings are, we have a conversation with them like we would with a five year old child in pain, and then, by giving all our feelings equal attention, affection, acceptance, allowance, and appreciation… a.k.a. LOVE…we return to the wholeness and the freedom of our original soul nature.

“How do you do that? ”  you ask.   (You did ask, right?)

First I just breathe myself into relax mode, as I taught in the LTOYW meditation.  (see previous blog post)  Then I focus on the sensations in my body.  I don’t judge the sensations and every time my mind wants to jump in and comment on them like “Ooooh, that lower back pain is a signal someone in your world is causing an emotional burden for you.”  or  “Mmmm, itchy big toe.  What does that mean?”   I say “Thank you,” to the energy “I don’t need you right now.”  And then I go back to the sensations.  Once “settled”, I ask the feelings, “What are you telling me about this situation?”  and “What do you want me to know?”

And do you know what I hear from the energy?  It tells me exactly what I need to hear.  I listen, I thank it for being here, and I breathe.

That is exactly what I did with these feelings of upset and discomfort, garnered when others expressed their feelings of unhappiness with me.  And this is what they, as my soul self, told me:  “You are being true to your nature,  You know that you used to want people to be happy and to approve of you.  You don’t need anyone’s approval now, because you know you are perfect in your imperfections, and other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.  And now you are aware, because of your own experiences, that people have to experience a range of feelings.  And you now have the confidence to know that everything that arises is exactly what is supposed to happen, occurring exactly when it is supposed to take place, for the highest good of all, so love that, and love the one who is still doubtful or insecure.  Love The One You’re With!   All is well.  Celebrate!

And that is what anybody can do for herself!

Hey, Universe, it’s your move!

heart world  LTOYW! I love you, Cath     Remember to check out http://MasterHeartInstitute.com for G.P. Walsh’s sagacious wisdom.

Fallout From Inner Lunacy

Following my last blog post in which I declared myself to be redundant and basically noting that teaching Love Toy Wisdom had it’s own built-in obsolescence, a former student of mine, who is now a friend, called to meet for dinner at a local Italian eatery, which I gladly did.

Over dinner, in this rather noisy, big tomato restaurant, my friend told me that she was shocked to read my new blog posting, after seeing nothing for all these months, because I seemed to be saying that I would be doing no more teaching and no more blogging and what was I thinking, she had learned so much from me over the last three years and hadn’t finished taking all my courses, but really wanted to, and she had a goal to become a Heart Healer practitioner, too, and how was she going to do that since it was my very own creation of an energy healing modality and, Cath, what are you thinking!?

Well, I couldn’t help but smile at the frantic panic she was displaying, even if somewhat in jest, but I knew beneath the words, that this little moon of mine was revealing the age-old insecurity of the spiritual seeker, namely: I can’t do it on my own!  Which is to say, I am not enough the way I am and I need to get all the answers, and I need someone, like you, or this book, or this course, or this teacher to tell me what I don’t know. I have to keep looking for the answers here and there and helping my self to being a better, more perfect version of me.  Once I get this certificate and this credit I’ll be there. I’m so close.  It’s right around the corner.  (Well, she didn’t say ALL that, but I heard it all in the vibration of her voice and the energy of her words!)

So, I gave Little Moon, my undivided attention, listening to her intently, focusing on what she was not saying as much as on what she was saying, which was not easy in that bustling, busy atmosphere, and then when she finished her plea, she asked me the question:  “Well, what are you really going to do and what will I do, if you do?”

I looked her straight in the eyes, smiled, took a big breath and honestly at first, wasn’t sure what to say because my former, un-confident self tape kicked in for a moment and I heard, “But Cath, she really needs you and you know how much you need to be needed, and how happy it makes you to see other people happy.  Maybe you need to think this whole ‘just-be-the-light-intending-ultimate-good’ thing through.”

However, my new confident-in-herself-and- the-rest-of-the-world Cath-self piped up and said, “Barb, stop do-doing all over the place and relax.”

She took a sip of her drink, and eyed me, as only a Capricorn is allowed to eye a Virgo,  and she asked, “What the Sam Hell is that supposed to mean?”

So, once again I made eye contact, took a deep breath, smiled, trusted that the words would come and said very slowly and clearly, “I don’t know what that means, but you are so smart, so capable and such a beautiful soul, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

The space between us across the table was filled with palpable energy as our hearts literally connected.  I felt it!  She felt it!  Our minds were still on the same wavelength with the conversation but I knew that much more had just taken place!  Barb had suddenly gotten a quick glimpse of her own bright light in my moon face.  I had just validated her in a way that hours of teaching could never have done.  There was absolutely no ego between us.  I had given her permission to see herself as I saw her, in her own radiant innocence and perfection, that knew everything it needed to know, and thus in that kind of unconditional love, all was well.

My confidence shone on her, and she saw it, absorbed it into her heartspace, and then mirrored it back to me with the intense brightness of a full winter’s moon.  “You’re right!” said she.  “I do know a lot.  Maybe I don’t need the certificates and the titles on my wall to be who I am meant to be.”

“Mmmhmmm!” smiled I.  “It’s all here,” I said, setting down my pasta-laden fork and placing my two hands overlapped across my chest.  “Here, and not here,”  I added, tapping the side of my head.    “Just in the demanding, of ‘Show me’, ”

I was next guided to say, “You’ll receive everything you need to know, exactly when you need to know it. That’s all there is to it. You’re not required to do anything more.”

“Thanks!” said Little Moon Barb, grinning wickedly.  “Thanks for the wisdom, teach!  You say you’re done teaching but you realize that you just did that, what you said you weren’t going to do anymore, don’t you?”

I smiled and sighed.  “No, YOU did, darlin’!  You did it! And that’s what I’m talkin’ about! You already knew it all anyway.  Don’t you get it, Sunshine? You already knew all that!”

Then the waiter brought us our cheques, we settled with the debit machine, bundled up in our coats and scarves and stepped out into the parking lot under a brilliant, full moon sky.

All is well!

sun and moon

Love is the way  

messengers from the mystery

tell us things. 

Love is the mother. 

We are her children. 

   She shines inside us

                                                                                                       visible-invisible, as we trust

                                                                            or lose trust,

                                                                                                           or feel it start to grow again.


LTOYW!  Cath


Bringing Love TOY Wisdom Back from the Dark Side or How I Discovered Inner Lunacy

Whew!  This has been an incredible journey since my last post…a trip to the dark side of my inner moon, and back again.  Because I was writing in other formats, this blog took a back seat for almost four months!  I continued my daily “I Love You’s” to my own heart, and whenever  I experienced any sort of upset, I soul masturbated intensely as per the practice.  However, very unexpectedly, LTOYW became ingrained even more deeply than I ever thought it would be, and with a result that still almost amazes me, as I will explain below.

So, picture this: former career classroom teacher now retired investing the last four years of her life intently studying and flowing into her world new teachings based on meditation, spirituality, and a personal mission to make the world a happier place, suddenly realizes she doesn’t need to be ‘working’ so hard.  That all of those people ‘out there’ whom she was hoping to reach were being and doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing, whether she showed up in their lives as a teacher or a blogger or a friend or NOT.

And how did I  discover this from LTOYW?

Good question!  Simple answer:  when you love yourself deeply you become aware that you are beautifully and perfectly okay… always have been and always will be!  With this you understand that even past and future beings and doings don’t really compute anymore because you are so grounded in the present that what happened and might happen are irrelevant. But wait! you might exclaim—isn’t Love TOY Wisdom supposed to do that?  Isn’t that what you expect to have happen by loving your Innocent Inner Child?  Aren’t you supposed to realize how perfect life is in all its imperfections? Yes!  Yes!  and Yes!

A lover is always accused of something. But when he finds his love, whatever was lost in the looking comes back completely changed.  Rumi

Indeed, I knew I had changed into a happier, more heart-centred, less triggered human being.  That was happening from the time I started putting LTOYW into practice in my life. Evidence was everywhere.  But here’s what I wasn’t expecting in the transformation process, even though I know that it happens…. As my inner landscape changed and became more loving and accepting of ME, Cath, my outer world changed–it became a garden of daily excitement and wonder– which I was expecting.  But here’s the deal: as my outer world changed in response to LoveTOY-ing myself, I then metamorphosed  even more as I witnessed the changes ‘out there’.  My world was reflected back to me like the sun seeing the moon and I had this instant visual and visceral realization that the sun never sees the dark side of the moon!  It was an awesome catalytic catharsis. I was suddenly reminded of that beautiful Hafiz poem:

“Even After All this time

The Sun never says to the Earth,

“You owe me.”

Look What happens With a love like that,

It lights the whole sky.” 

This awareness placed me, no, it truly inspired me, into ‘telescope’ mode, as I remained within my inner observatory for weeks. I wrote and wrote and wrote in my journals…by hand…reams and reams of words. It was awesome! Then when I got nudged to begin posting again, that’s when I discovered that Love TOY Wisdom had morphed again from being a conscious, daily practice to being a way of being that just flowed so naturally in my awareness that I realized that I truly VALUED myself…as in gave validation to myself, totally trusted my inner guidance system….and equally adored the innocence of every other person in my world, friend or stranger alike, and so much so that I didn’t feel the need to spread my ideas out to anybody, not here on my blog nor even in the teaching format as a meditation teacher and angel tarot card reader. No New York, New York spreading the news, no commentary, no bon mots of wisdom, nothing!

Surprise!  Indeed WTF? !

Here’s what happened after months of LoveTOY-ing myself that I was not expecting:  I became CONFIDENT!  Yes, that’s right, I am confident.

Well, so?  you might ask.  Confident about what?

About everything!  For the first time in my entire life I know without a doubt, in that deep, deep inner knowing way, that EVERYTHING is going along exactly as it is supposed to no matter what the world ‘out there’ seems to be showing up as.  EVERYTHING!  And EVERYONE!  The sun can only see the bright side of the moon because from the sun’s point of view, there is only a shine to behold.  The world can only reflect back your own light, and you are light, so if you believe you are seeing anything that’s not perfectly you…your own light…then you are being deluded.  It just can be no other way! That’s confidence!

It can be no other way!

Extending this to my ‘work’ means nobody requires me to tell them anything because it is experience that leads to awareness and I could write the most profound texts or epic poetry ever, which people could read and cherish even as I do cherish the work of so many authors and poets, and it would do nothing for them that they hadn’t already, deep down inside that inner space we call the soul, decided to do for themselves.

This awareness, by the way, was way more intense than letting go of attachment to the outcome.  I am not saying, “Well, beloved student, I gave you the teachings and the wisdom and now it’s not my issue what you do with them.”  I already had that mindset long ago.  This new confidence was allowing total non-attachment, as in:  “Know yourself. Be yourself.  All is well.  All is ultimately the way it is and that is the way it is supposed to be.”  Or, as my beloved Dad would say: “It all comes out in the wash, Cath!”

And if that’s true, and with confidence I say it is, then there is nothing more required of me than to just be love and light in every moment.  This means just to be the one who listens, the one who comments with kindness, the one who gives her undivided attention in every moment to the one in front of her as if it were her own innocent inner child, because it is.  Every other being is simply a precious moon just for me.  And if that’s not miraculous, then nothing is!

Shine on, Beloveds!  Shine on!

moon reflecting the sunLTOYW,


Why “Love TOY” so much?

In the past few weeks since beginning this blog, I have been asked “Why?” about several aspects of Love Toy Wisdom.   So I have decided at this time to reply to, and in some ways, to reiterate, what I have already explained. Namely this:

We repeatedly and habitually tell our own hearts how much we love them, saying   “I Love You” over and over, as a way of giving them the expression of the love…attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance, and allowance…that we may never have been given, or never got enough of when we were children.   Why?

In order to ground Love into our being, as counter-conditioning for all the subconscious conditioning we picked up as little kids, we tell ourselves how much we are loved.  This childhood subconscious conditioning has been running patterns in our minds and bodies that tell us we’re not good enough, or worthy of, or deserving of happiness, success, abundance, etc. and these fearful patterns wreck havoc on our relationships.  We need to un-learn those years of deep hypnosis-like effect on our nervous system.   Repetition is the way… especially out loud, spoken directly so as many of the senses can be reached in the process.  Why?

It is important to reach all of the senses because that is the doorway through which we first received the original ideas that led to our belief that we are something separate from and other than a unique expression of the  beautiful Divine being of the God Source Nature.  It is like returning to the womb, or ground of creation with our statements.  We are making up for it in all dimensions, time, and space and for all timelines we may find ourselves in.

It is also most certain that we do not get enough of that special love now, as so-called grown-ups, because in truth, as adults, we give ourselves very little opportunity to just play in the sandbox of self-love.  Somewhere along the line we may have been taught that it is “selfish”, or “self-indulgent” or “self-centered” with the implication that these are “bad” things… that is, to be avoided at all costs.  Which is just “propaganda” put out by the Tribe in order to preserve its rules and regulations, and as just a point of view and a judgment, easily overwritten by a mind equally capable of choosing for itself.

Once we get down to the basic energy, which is Love, then we have a tabula rasa for creating a new sense of who we really are, a new identity based on the truth, which is that there is no limit to the capacity of the human heart to give and to receive love. And of course, the blessing and the miracle is that when we can love whatever arises in our lives, because we have the essential strength of loving ourselves, then each experience in life is either reflecting that love or giving us opportunities to put it into practice.  It’s all a win-win situation!

So, in summary, we follow LOVE TOY Wisdom…that is Loving the One You’re With…  in order to anchor vibrationally the Love for which we have an opening, if not a craving, for in our hearts.

Matt Kahn, of True Divine Nature, calls it “The Love Revolution” and he explains it beautifully  and with a transmission of energy that will also help to anchor something awesome in your heart.  Watch his video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFS84Jp1qfc and be sure to catch my next blog  when I explain more about soul masturbation.

Love mantra TDN    raven from facebookI love you!  LTOYW

How Do I Practice LTOYW? Part Three

This is the third of three introductory blogs on the Practice of Love TOY Wisdom, or Loving the One You’re With.  The first, called “So What Do I Do?”,  really gave a more theoretical outline and  some info on the teachings that inspired me to develop it, including where the quip Love TOY Wisdom came from.  The blog also provided a link and the lyrics to the song Love The One You’re With.  Then it left the teaser about Matt Kahn and True Divine Nature‘s teaching of sending emails to your own heart.

The second introductory blog covered: How to send emails to your own heart, along with how to cascade a daily flood of “I Love You’s” to your own heart as a therapeutic practice.

This final introductory piece about putting Love TOY Wisdom into practice is a meditation that I devised because in my own experience, as a daily mantra meditation practitioner and a Chopra Center Primordial Sound Meditation Instructor,  I have discovered that meditation opens up your “inner world” like nothing else that is also healthy and inexpensive!

There are hundreds of studies on the advantages of a daily/regular meditation practice, which are available with the magic of an internet search engine, so I do not need to site any stats here and now.  Although I will be referring to the stats and info as I write about the beauty of the “Loving the One You’re With Process” because I happen to believe in mantra meditation as the best route to go, especially for people who are serious about incorporating meditation into their lifestyles.  That is not to say I don’t enjoy a beautiful guided meditation, and there are many programs offered out there, including with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey (two bangs for your buck!), davidji… a former Chopra University Master Teacher,  and one I recently completed which had the teachings of Osho as its lead in.

What does the  practice of meditation have to do with loving yourself, you ask?

Answer:  Meditation takes you inward to knowing yourself more intimately and therefor shows you the beautiful spirit-infused soul that you are, which you are then showering with love as per the practice of “Loving the One You’re With.

Add to that the indisputable fact that when you meditate, it is an act of self-ish attention, meaning it is something one does for, to, and by herself, even when in a large ballroom of five hundred meditators, including Deepak Chopra, Gabrielle Bernstein, and India.Arie, with thousands of others on-line, as I was this past August 8th in Toronto for the Global Meditation for Peace event.  (It was memorable and awesome!)

So, meditation can be said to be a selfish act of devotion and when you love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of a daily meditation practice, or, you fake it till you make it, meditation leads you into a deeper self-love, more devotion and above all, an awareness of who you really are, what you really desire, what your purpose in this life is, and what you are grateful for.

Yes!  It is that powerful.  And it all begins with a decision to Love the One…the ONLY One…You Are EVER and  ALWAYS With:  YOU

Please find below an outline of my “Love The One You’re With” mantra meditation.  If you are new to meditation, start slowly and ease into the length of time you meditate each day.  But give yourself the present of daily attention to it for at least a month before you make a decision on keeping it.
If you already have a daily meditation practice, especially a mantra-based one like Primordial Sound Meditation, try substituting the mantra you regularly use for the words “I Love You” in your practice for at least 10 days, and then go back to your previous mantra if you prefer, substituting  in the “I Love You” mantra for one day a week and especially when you have been having one of THOSE periods in your life when you require just a little more TLC.

I promise, whether you are new to meditation, are just getting your feet wet recently, have been meditating regularly for a few years, or are a seasoned life-time meditator, following the “I Love You” Meditation from Love TOY Wisdom will profoundly change your life.

One more thing…a little caveat to the “I Love You” meditation practice:  Have a box of facial tissues handy for the first couple of weeks.  Meditation brings up “stuff” anyway, because you are touching a part of yourself that is so beautiful and innocent that you are moved to tears, like when you see or hold a newborn baby or a little puppy or a sweet kitten, but more so.  This “effect” is even more pronounced when the self you meet is being loved on by the one who knows it the most intimately.  It just happens!  Forewarned is forearmed…with tissue.

Oh, and by the way, what also comes up, bubbles up, eventually gushes up in a heart-opening wide awake awareness kind of way, is the pure Joy of being You!


The “I Love You” Meditation from Love TOY Wisdom:

  1. Take 10 minutes in the morning before you start your day, sitting with your eyes closed, upright in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the floor or cross-legged on the floor, hands held facing upright/open in your lap, in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
  2. Begin by taking three relaxing breaths.  That would be a deep inhale into the belly through the nose for a count of four, hold for a count of three or four, and then an exhale through the nose for a count of four, or an exhale through the mouth with a sigh. Do this three times.
  3. Then, with your next breath in, as if breathing the air into your heart chakra (the centre of your chest area), concentrate on what your body is feeling, and where there is any discomfort—that is, resistance to the relaxation you are creating.  If you feel any discomfort either physically or emotionally, say silently, in your head, “I Love you”, and then breathe out through your nose.  Keep repeating the “I Love you” mantra, whether you feel any discomfort or not…breathing in through the heart space, keeping aware of discomfort, if any.  It is as if you are sending these “I Love you” s to the part of your body that is seeking your attention…for indeed, energetically speaking, it is exactly what is happening!  When there is no place in your body that is restless, in pain, etc. then simply focus the “I Love you” s on your heart.

If other thoughts come into your mind, as they surely will, as soon as you notice them, just gently and easily go back to the “I Love you”s.  If you hear any noises from the environment around you, or feel any sensations in your body, just acknowledge them in the same way, even with a smile of recognition of the interference, which reminds you that you are alive, and go back to repeating the “I Love you”s.

  1. Do this for a good 5 minutes…use a timer if you like…for several days until it is comfortable for you.
  2. Then add 5 more minutes to the meditation and repeat daily until you are very comfortable with the time and practice.
  3. Then add another 5 minutes until you are up to a total of 30 minutes daily. Or if that seems like a lot, just do whatever is comfortable for you.  And I say that because it is your heart (not your mind) that ultimately knows what is feeling good, so if your heart is feeling dis-ease, tell it “I love you” and wait about 18 seconds.  If the discomfort persists,  stop for now. Be gentle and loving.  Your Inner Child may not have heard these words for such a long time that it may be a little insecure…remember we either withdraw into unworthiness or we attack with “this is not what I need”… both are judgments that we are not ale to receive the love that we have always desired to feel.

Follow this simple practice for just 5 minutes every morning, as soon as you waken (after peeing but before anything else!) and I promise you there will be a new lightness in your heart which will translate into lightening up your life.  (And the life of everyone you come into contact with…but that’s the topic for another day.)

monk in heart cave meditating

Love the One You’re With daily in an “I Love You” Meditation

LTOYW I love you!