This, the second introductory blog on How to Practise Love TOY Wisdom will cover : How to send emails to your own heart, which was introduced in Part One, and it is also going to teach a little bit about the how and why of cascading a daily flood of “I Love You’s” to your own heart as a therapeutic practice.
The idea of sending emails to your own heart comes from the recent teachings of a new favourite spiritual teacher of mine, Matt Kahn of True Divine Nature. I invite you to look him up and for an awesome experience join his upcoming series of teachings called Angel Academy 3 that begins on September 27th. His idea of telling your own heart “I love you” whenever you are feeling fear, or anger, or sadness, or at any time you feel dis-comfort, is such a simple thing to do. The difficult part is when you are in the moment of a reactive response to be able to make the switch in your usual mindset and choose to speak to your own heart FIRST!
Remember as a child when you were taught to count to ten before reacting to someone’s insults or behavior? This is because that is how long it took the brain to go from the stimulus response/fight or flight reactive mode of the primitive brain stem (a.k.a. the “dinosaur brain”) when your heart pumps faster and your blood pressure rises, cortisol and adrenaline rush in to protect you from a perceived threat to having the impulse move into the limbic or emotional brain (a.k.a. the “doggy-horsey brain”) where you would have a feeling or emotional response to the stimulus which will either be fear-based or love-based.
Then after ten seconds, the impulse has moved through and into the frontal lobes of the thinking brain (the “human” brain) where all that conditioning I spoke about in September 18th’s blog entry called Part One of “How Do I Practise Love TOY Wisdom?” is contained. Here, in the so-called rational mind also lies all those subconscious beliefs, judgments and ideas picked up when our brains were on automatic record as infants, toddlers, and very young children. Which means that in actual fact, when we are in our human brain, thinking about what has happened and how to respond, we are still very much in a reactive mode. In fact, in many ways it is worse than fighting back with words or fists or running away and hiding which is what young children automatically do when they are triggered to feel unsafe. (Classic example is a two year old’s tantrum!)
So, you might be asking, why shouldn’t we allow our thinking, rational brain to kick in and make a choice for us? Why is Cathy saying that thinking and responding is not a good idea? Well, I’m saying this for a very simple reason, which may seem too simplistic when you first consider it but that is the beauty of Love TOY Wisdom. And the reason is this: IF you are in a situation where you have anger, fear, sadness, doubt, or dis-comfort (dis-ease) of any kind, then first of all you are NOT IN ALIGNMENT with your true self, with your true divine nature and second of all, it was your thinking brain/ego mind that got you there in the first place!
What this means is, thinking will not get you back into alignment. Feeling will! This is using your heart-mind, which is far more wise and intuitive than modern science used to make us believe but which the new studies like those of HeartMath are proving to be true. The heart has more “knowingness” than the brain because of its ability to tap into the universal consciousness and instantly scan for solutions to challenges. If this seems a little “out there”, then keep reading future Love TOY Wisdom blogs, because I will go deeper into the teachings as we go.
For now, all that is needed is an awareness that we need to choose to focus on our hearts when we are out of alignment or out of happiness and joy which is our true nature, and thus stay out of our thoughts which have all those conditioned patterns running the show. And to do that, just as we do in mantra meditation, when we replace the random or rising thoughts with a mantra, we substitute whatever else may come up in our response to an upset with the words “I Love You” directed with focus and intentionality to our own heart. We can even place a hand on our heart as we speak the words…and it is best to say them out loud, though just thinking them is a great place to start. Then, we repeat the “I Love Yous” several times or until we FEEL BETTER, where “feeling better” is code for Moving back into alignment with our true self.
How often do you repeat? Until you feel Safe and comfortable again.
When do you do this? Whenever you feel un-safe and un-comfortable!
Matt Kahn calls this sending emails to your own heart. You could call it sending love letters to your own heart. It is actually expanding the heart-space to be more and more open to receiving love, just as your inbox expands as you receive more and more emails. And unlike the capacity of your server, there is no limit to the heart…it is boundless and infinite, ever-expanding for as far and as wide and as long as you allow it to go.
Now, I add one other practice, just to make the heart muscle a bit stronger emotionally in the moment of upset, and that is to take a minute or two before each meal, just as if saying a prayer of gratitude which you can do right after the practice, and also again right before going to sleep, like a bedtime prayer, and that is to speak to your heart and say “I Love You” repeatedly for that short 60 to 120 seconds. And the way you say it is lovingly, gently, kindly, as if you were speaking to a three-year old child. Speak the words out loud, or whisper them if you don’t feel comfortable vocalizing out loud, and even to just think them does exercise the feeling muscles and expand the heart-space. Best practice however, whenever possible, is to say “I Love You” out loud, hand on heart, sweetly, soothingly, happily, lovingly, in any way just like you were speaking to your little child self.
But wait! Oh my gosh! You are speaking to your little child self. That beautiful inner child, innocent child, who sometimes gets scared and feels un-safe and needs soothing in a way she or he may never have been soothed before, or at least not that you can remember. This is a super special topic for future blogs and is not necessary to be fully informed about for the process introduced here to work. In fact, the best way to approach all this when starting out, is with that original tabula rasa innocence and “Just Do It!”
So, that is how to send emails to your own heart, which is a foundational part of Love Toy Wisdom, or Loving the One You’re With. I like to say that it makes every day Valentine’s Day. I promise that if you start putting Love Toy Wisdom into practice as outlined here, then you will experience more happiness and more joy in a very short period of time.
Stay tuned for “How Do I Practise Love TOY Wisdom? Part Three” for even more actions to take to “Love The One You’re With”.