Why “Love TOY” so much?

In the past few weeks since beginning this blog, I have been asked “Why?” about several aspects of Love Toy Wisdom.   So I have decided at this time to reply to, and in some ways, to reiterate, what I have already explained. Namely this:

We repeatedly and habitually tell our own hearts how much we love them, saying   “I Love You” over and over, as a way of giving them the expression of the love…attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance, and allowance…that we may never have been given, or never got enough of when we were children.   Why?

In order to ground Love into our being, as counter-conditioning for all the subconscious conditioning we picked up as little kids, we tell ourselves how much we are loved.  This childhood subconscious conditioning has been running patterns in our minds and bodies that tell us we’re not good enough, or worthy of, or deserving of happiness, success, abundance, etc. and these fearful patterns wreck havoc on our relationships.  We need to un-learn those years of deep hypnosis-like effect on our nervous system.   Repetition is the way… especially out loud, spoken directly so as many of the senses can be reached in the process.  Why?

It is important to reach all of the senses because that is the doorway through which we first received the original ideas that led to our belief that we are something separate from and other than a unique expression of the  beautiful Divine being of the God Source Nature.  It is like returning to the womb, or ground of creation with our statements.  We are making up for it in all dimensions, time, and space and for all timelines we may find ourselves in.

It is also most certain that we do not get enough of that special love now, as so-called grown-ups, because in truth, as adults, we give ourselves very little opportunity to just play in the sandbox of self-love.  Somewhere along the line we may have been taught that it is “selfish”, or “self-indulgent” or “self-centered” with the implication that these are “bad” things… that is, to be avoided at all costs.  Which is just “propaganda” put out by the Tribe in order to preserve its rules and regulations, and as just a point of view and a judgment, easily overwritten by a mind equally capable of choosing for itself.

Once we get down to the basic energy, which is Love, then we have a tabula rasa for creating a new sense of who we really are, a new identity based on the truth, which is that there is no limit to the capacity of the human heart to give and to receive love. And of course, the blessing and the miracle is that when we can love whatever arises in our lives, because we have the essential strength of loving ourselves, then each experience in life is either reflecting that love or giving us opportunities to put it into practice.  It’s all a win-win situation!

So, in summary, we follow LOVE TOY Wisdom…that is Loving the One You’re With…  in order to anchor vibrationally the Love for which we have an opening, if not a craving, for in our hearts.

Matt Kahn, of True Divine Nature, calls it “The Love Revolution” and he explains it beautifully  and with a transmission of energy that will also help to anchor something awesome in your heart.  Watch his video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFS84Jp1qfc and be sure to catch my next blog  when I explain more about soul masturbation.

Love mantra TDN    raven from facebookI love you!  LTOYW


How Do I Practice LTOYW? Part Three

This is the third of three introductory blogs on the Practice of Love TOY Wisdom, or Loving the One You’re With.  The first, called “So What Do I Do?”,  really gave a more theoretical outline and  some info on the teachings that inspired me to develop it, including where the quip Love TOY Wisdom came from.  The blog also provided a link and the lyrics to the song Love The One You’re With.  Then it left the teaser about Matt Kahn and True Divine Nature‘s teaching of sending emails to your own heart.

The second introductory blog covered: How to send emails to your own heart, along with how to cascade a daily flood of “I Love You’s” to your own heart as a therapeutic practice.

This final introductory piece about putting Love TOY Wisdom into practice is a meditation that I devised because in my own experience, as a daily mantra meditation practitioner and a Chopra Center Primordial Sound Meditation Instructor,  I have discovered that meditation opens up your “inner world” like nothing else that is also healthy and inexpensive!

There are hundreds of studies on the advantages of a daily/regular meditation practice, which are available with the magic of an internet search engine, so I do not need to site any stats here and now.  Although I will be referring to the stats and info as I write about the beauty of the “Loving the One You’re With Process” because I happen to believe in mantra meditation as the best route to go, especially for people who are serious about incorporating meditation into their lifestyles.  That is not to say I don’t enjoy a beautiful guided meditation, and there are many programs offered out there, including with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey (two bangs for your buck!), davidji… a former Chopra University Master Teacher,  and one I recently completed which had the teachings of Osho as its lead in.

What does the  practice of meditation have to do with loving yourself, you ask?

Answer:  Meditation takes you inward to knowing yourself more intimately and therefor shows you the beautiful spirit-infused soul that you are, which you are then showering with love as per the practice of “Loving the One You’re With.

Add to that the indisputable fact that when you meditate, it is an act of self-ish attention, meaning it is something one does for, to, and by herself, even when in a large ballroom of five hundred meditators, including Deepak Chopra, Gabrielle Bernstein, and India.Arie, with thousands of others on-line, as I was this past August 8th in Toronto for the Global Meditation for Peace event.  (It was memorable and awesome!)

So, meditation can be said to be a selfish act of devotion and when you love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of a daily meditation practice, or, you fake it till you make it, meditation leads you into a deeper self-love, more devotion and above all, an awareness of who you really are, what you really desire, what your purpose in this life is, and what you are grateful for.

Yes!  It is that powerful.  And it all begins with a decision to Love the One…the ONLY One…You Are EVER and  ALWAYS With:  YOU

Please find below an outline of my “Love The One You’re With” mantra meditation.  If you are new to meditation, start slowly and ease into the length of time you meditate each day.  But give yourself the present of daily attention to it for at least a month before you make a decision on keeping it.
If you already have a daily meditation practice, especially a mantra-based one like Primordial Sound Meditation, try substituting the mantra you regularly use for the words “I Love You” in your practice for at least 10 days, and then go back to your previous mantra if you prefer, substituting  in the “I Love You” mantra for one day a week and especially when you have been having one of THOSE periods in your life when you require just a little more TLC.

I promise, whether you are new to meditation, are just getting your feet wet recently, have been meditating regularly for a few years, or are a seasoned life-time meditator, following the “I Love You” Meditation from Love TOY Wisdom will profoundly change your life.

One more thing…a little caveat to the “I Love You” meditation practice:  Have a box of facial tissues handy for the first couple of weeks.  Meditation brings up “stuff” anyway, because you are touching a part of yourself that is so beautiful and innocent that you are moved to tears, like when you see or hold a newborn baby or a little puppy or a sweet kitten, but more so.  This “effect” is even more pronounced when the self you meet is being loved on by the one who knows it the most intimately.  It just happens!  Forewarned is forearmed…with tissue.

Oh, and by the way, what also comes up, bubbles up, eventually gushes up in a heart-opening wide awake awareness kind of way, is the pure Joy of being You!


The “I Love You” Meditation from Love TOY Wisdom:

  1. Take 10 minutes in the morning before you start your day, sitting with your eyes closed, upright in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the floor or cross-legged on the floor, hands held facing upright/open in your lap, in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
  2. Begin by taking three relaxing breaths.  That would be a deep inhale into the belly through the nose for a count of four, hold for a count of three or four, and then an exhale through the nose for a count of four, or an exhale through the mouth with a sigh. Do this three times.
  3. Then, with your next breath in, as if breathing the air into your heart chakra (the centre of your chest area), concentrate on what your body is feeling, and where there is any discomfort—that is, resistance to the relaxation you are creating.  If you feel any discomfort either physically or emotionally, say silently, in your head, “I Love you”, and then breathe out through your nose.  Keep repeating the “I Love you” mantra, whether you feel any discomfort or not…breathing in through the heart space, keeping aware of discomfort, if any.  It is as if you are sending these “I Love you” s to the part of your body that is seeking your attention…for indeed, energetically speaking, it is exactly what is happening!  When there is no place in your body that is restless, in pain, etc. then simply focus the “I Love you” s on your heart.

If other thoughts come into your mind, as they surely will, as soon as you notice them, just gently and easily go back to the “I Love you”s.  If you hear any noises from the environment around you, or feel any sensations in your body, just acknowledge them in the same way, even with a smile of recognition of the interference, which reminds you that you are alive, and go back to repeating the “I Love you”s.

  1. Do this for a good 5 minutes…use a timer if you like…for several days until it is comfortable for you.
  2. Then add 5 more minutes to the meditation and repeat daily until you are very comfortable with the time and practice.
  3. Then add another 5 minutes until you are up to a total of 30 minutes daily. Or if that seems like a lot, just do whatever is comfortable for you.  And I say that because it is your heart (not your mind) that ultimately knows what is feeling good, so if your heart is feeling dis-ease, tell it “I love you” and wait about 18 seconds.  If the discomfort persists,  stop for now. Be gentle and loving.  Your Inner Child may not have heard these words for such a long time that it may be a little insecure…remember we either withdraw into unworthiness or we attack with “this is not what I need”… both are judgments that we are not ale to receive the love that we have always desired to feel.

Follow this simple practice for just 5 minutes every morning, as soon as you waken (after peeing but before anything else!) and I promise you there will be a new lightness in your heart which will translate into lightening up your life.  (And the life of everyone you come into contact with…but that’s the topic for another day.)

monk in heart cave meditating

Love the One You’re With daily in an “I Love You” Meditation

LTOYW I love you!

How Do I Practise LTOYW? Part Two

This, the second introductory blog on How to Practise Love TOY Wisdom will cover : How to send emails to your own heart, which was introduced in Part One, and it is also going to teach a little bit about the how and why of cascading a daily flood of “I Love You’s” to your own heart as a therapeutic  practice.

The idea of sending emails to your own heart comes from the recent teachings of a new favourite spiritual teacher of mine, Matt Kahn of True Divine Nature.  I invite you to look him up and for an awesome experience join his upcoming series of teachings called Angel Academy 3 that begins on September 27th.   His idea of telling your own heart “I love you” whenever you are feeling fear, or anger, or sadness, or at any time you feel dis-comfort, is such a simple thing to do.  The difficult part is when you are in the moment of a reactive response to be able to make the switch in your usual mindset and choose to speak to your own heart FIRST!

Remember as a child when you were taught to count to ten before reacting to someone’s insults or behavior?  This is  because that is how long it took the brain to go from the stimulus response/fight or flight reactive mode of the primitive brain stem (a.k.a. the “dinosaur brain”) when your heart pumps faster and your blood pressure rises,  cortisol and adrenaline rush in to protect you from a perceived threat to having the impulse move into the limbic or emotional brain (a.k.a. the “doggy-horsey brain”) where you would have a feeling or emotional response to the stimulus which will either be fear-based or love-based.

Then after ten seconds, the impulse has moved through and into the frontal lobes of the thinking brain (the “human” brain) where all that conditioning I spoke about in September 18th’s blog entry called Part One of “How Do I Practise Love TOY Wisdom?” is contained.  Here, in the so-called rational mind also lies all those subconscious beliefs, judgments and ideas picked up when our brains were on automatic record as infants, toddlers, and very young children.  Which means that in actual fact, when we are in our human brain, thinking about what has happened and how to respond, we are still very much in a reactive mode.  In fact, in many ways it is worse than fighting back with words or fists or running away and hiding which is what young children automatically do when they are triggered to feel unsafe.  (Classic example is a two year old’s tantrum!)

So, you might be asking, why shouldn’t we allow our thinking, rational brain to kick in and make a choice for us?   Why is Cathy saying that thinking and responding is not a good idea?  Well, I’m saying this for a very simple reason, which may seem too simplistic when you first consider it but that is the beauty of Love TOY Wisdom.  And the reason is this:  IF you are in a situation where you have anger, fear, sadness, doubt, or dis-comfort (dis-ease) of any kind, then first of all you are NOT IN ALIGNMENT with your true self, with your true divine nature and second of all, it was your thinking brain/ego mind that got you there in the first place! 

What this means is, thinking will not get you back into alignment.  Feeling will!  This is using your heart-mind, which is far more wise and intuitive than modern science used to make us believe but which the new studies like those of HeartMath  are proving to be true.  The heart has more “knowingness” than the brain because of its ability to tap into the universal consciousness and instantly scan for solutions to challenges.  If this seems a little “out there”, then keep reading future Love TOY Wisdom blogs, because I will go deeper into the teachings as we go.

For now, all that is needed is an awareness that we need to choose to focus on our hearts when we are out of alignment or out of happiness and joy which is our true nature, and thus stay out of our thoughts which have all those conditioned patterns running the show.  And to do that, just as we do in mantra meditation, when we replace the random or rising thoughts with a mantra, we substitute whatever else may come up in our response to an upset with the words “I Love You” directed with focus and intentionality to our own heart.  We can even place a hand on our heart as we speak the words…and it is best to say them out loud, though just thinking them is a great place to start.  Then, we repeat the “I Love Yous” several times or until we FEEL BETTER, where “feeling better” is code for Moving back into alignment with our true self.

How often do you repeat?  Until you feel Safe and comfortable again.

When do you do this? Whenever you feel un-safe and un-comfortable!

Matt Kahn calls this sending emails to your own heart.  You could call it sending love letters to your own heart.  It is actually expanding the heart-space to be more and more open to receiving love, just as your inbox expands as you receive more and more emails. And unlike the capacity of your server, there is no limit to the heart…it is boundless and infinite, ever-expanding for as far and as wide and as long as you allow it to go.

Now, I add one other practice, just to make the heart muscle a bit stronger emotionally in the moment of upset, and that is to take a minute or two before each meal, just as if  saying a prayer of gratitude which you can do right after the practice, and also again right before going to sleep, like a bedtime prayer, and that is to speak to your heart and say “I Love You” repeatedly for that short 60 to 120 seconds.  And the way you say it is lovingly, gently, kindly, as if you were speaking to a three-year old child.   Speak the words out loud, or whisper them if you don’t feel comfortable vocalizing out loud, and even to just think them does exercise the feeling muscles and expand the heart-space.  Best practice however, whenever possible, is to say “I Love You” out loud, hand on heart, sweetly, soothingly, happily, lovingly, in any way just like you were speaking to your little child self.

But wait! Oh my gosh!  You are speaking to your little child self.  That beautiful inner child, innocent child, who sometimes gets scared and feels un-safe and needs soothing in a way she or he may never have been soothed before, or at least not that you can remember.   This is a super special topic for future blogs and is not necessary to be fully informed about for the process introduced here to work.  In fact, the best way to approach all this when starting out, is with that original tabula rasa innocence and “Just Do It!”

So, that is how to send emails to your own heart, which is a foundational part of Love Toy Wisdom, or Loving the One You’re With.   I like to say that it makes every day Valentine’s Day.  I promise that if you start putting Love Toy Wisdom into practice as outlined here, then you will experience more happiness and more joy in a very short period of time.

Stay tuned for “How Do I Practise Love TOY Wisdom? Part Three” for even more actions to take to “Love The One You’re With”.

Hands on Heart and pledge allegiance to your own healing!   Matt Kahn 1  raven from facebook I love you!    LTOYW.

So What Do I Do in Love TOY Wisdom? Part One

Just a brief re-cap and we’ll be off and running with the answer to this question: “What am I supposed to do in the practice of Love TOY Wisdom?”

Remember that Love TOY Wisdom is the “quip”  (the quick uploaded imprinted phrase)  or the distillation of the term “Love The One You’re With”. I know that it is the title of a beautiful song from 1970, written by Stephen Stills of the amazing Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young (and many more permutations) and if you listen to the lyrics it is about Love.  Being a child of the Flower Power generation and a baby-boomer, I was in university when this song first came out and it became an anthem for the newly awakened sexuality for my generation of women. .. thanks to that little pink pill.  Nuff said!

You’ll find a youtube link for the song here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2z0us0JPM4  and I have included the lyrics below.

So, Loving The One You’re With is about loving the person sitting next to you at the party, and the stranger on the bus ( a la Joan Osborne, 1995, as written by Eric Bazillian), and the neighbor across the road whose cat uses your front doormat as a litterbox.  But FIRST, and I know you may have heard it  a hundred times in a dozen different ways, but it is so very, very true… Before you can truly love another, you love yourself.

Why?  Why?  Why?

Love is the universal energy of Unity and we are all One Tribe, one organism of Life, as science is now confirming left right and centre… but don’t take my word for it…Google It! :))  We are quantumly connected and like the giant hologram we are, each piece of Us, the skin-encapsulated spirit we call a human being, is a manifestation of that hologram, however miniscule your mind sees yourself in the giant microcosm called Life.

So, when you Love yourself, you Love Everybody…no exclusions…and since most of us, whether we are aware of it or not, have been conditioned to have judgments against some other bodies (buddies), whether it be from religious beliefs, racial prejudices, social mores, whatever, whatever!  It’s there.  Deep in our subconscious, inherited from our ancestors, from our parents, teachers and caregivers, peers, and the great 20th century enculturator…the media, specifically T.V.  By the time we are 2, from the moment of conception, we have been on constant record, and this continues well into our pre-school and early childhood, until we reach about 7, when our neurobiology begins to develop a so-called rational aspect to the brain.

Then we develop our full-blown personality, and everything that was previously on Record…and I mean EVERYTHING our senses could absorb!…then gets put onto Rewind.  Endless replay of the “Music of Me” or all the vibrations we have imprinted and laid down.  That’s our subconscious programming.  It’s insidious, it’s infectious, as well as beautiful, and life-affirming.  The problem is, we get confused.  We have all these feelings that come up that often are in conflict with what we are living, and we have desires that sometimes do not jive with the folks out there.

In previous blogs I have discussed what happens when we let judgment continue to run our programming.  But now I am here to remind you that we can adjust our vibrational tuning forks, just like a receiver in those old transistor radios can be “tuned in” to receive the Music we want to receive, or a satellite dish can be re-programmed to get the precise experience /channel that you desire to have.

transistor radio

Transistor radio, circa 1960

Now, some of us may even need to start with the hardware.  Maybe their receivers are not clear, having been damaged through some perceived past misuse or abuse.  That’s more than okay, and Love TOY Wisdom can repair a receiver just like THAT!  (Snap!)   It’s all the same process of feeling what you have always wanted to feel, even when you didn’t know or weren’t sure, how you wanted to feel.

How does everyone want to feel?  Everyone wants to feel the way we felt when we first emerged into Life and even on the day we were born, no matter how stressful the environment might have been…it was all we knew…our Source identity, which is pure consciousness, pure divine being-ness, blissful awareness of our true identity permeating every cell of our body, and it is the energy we call Love.

That’s who we are!  That’s who we have always been and will always be, and it is our true divine nature that we may have forgotten as we, as that infant/ baby/toddler, put our minds on “Record” and then later, tried to sort it all out.  Somehow, we have forgotten who we really are.

Love TOY Wisdom is here to remind you and to guide you to find yourself again. How?  By Loving The One You’re With…the One you have always been with since the day you were born…and even before that, actually! (incidentally, did you know that your heart is the first organ to develop in the foetus…thump, thump, thump…) Yes, Loving the One You’re With from Second One when you took your first breath of life-giving oxygen.


Foetus at 8 weeks. “Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heart beat?”

So, that’s how we “do” Love Toy Wisdom…essentially we love ourselves as we have never been loved before, as we have always wanted to be loved, as we are truly loved because we are Love.  This massive download of Love repairs the separation from our true nature that we have been conditioned to feel  over our Lifetime, by raising our consciousness to a higher vibrational awareness of who we are: Love.  And we do that so simply… just by sending “I Love You” emails to our own hearts constantly and relentlessly, whether we think we need to or we think we want to or we think it’s stupid.  We just ignore all that “stuff” and do it.

Next time…how do I send an email to my own heart?

love is an energy  LTOYW  I Love you!

Love the One You’re With

If you’re down and confused And you don’t remember who you’re talking to Concentration slips away Because your baby is so far away

Well there’s a rose in a fisted glove And the eagle flies with the dove And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey Love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad Don’t sit crying over good times you’ve had Well there’s a girl sitting right next to you And she’s just waiting for something to do

Well there’s a rose in a fisted glove And the eagle flies with the dove And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey Love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with

Oh yea oh yea, yea Lord, love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with Why don’t you love?

Turn your heartache right into joy She’s a girl and you’re a boy Did you get it together and make it nice? When you ain’t gonna need anymore advice

Well there’s a rose in a fisted glove And the eagle flies with the dove Sometimes you can’t be with the one you love, honey Love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with You gotta love the one you’re with

You gotta love, oh love You gotta love, oh love You gotta love, love the one you’re with You gotta love, love