Who Can Change Their Minds?

Well done, Beloveds!  The first response to my latest blog, published on February 16th, was a phone call from my dinner companion whom I wrote about previously, and she pointed out what she perceived as a major discrepancy in my recent article:  “You used a gender comment at the beginning of the blog post, referencing your right to change your mind because you are female, and then you go on to comment on how human beings have been conditioned to our gender beliefs and that we need to re-think our beliefs.”  She asked for clarity.

So thanks for asking, Little Moon!  Here is my reply:

Gender-based beliefs, also known as stereotypes, do have their uses and the statement that I am allowed to change my mind “because I am female”, was made to underline the perfidity of that and similar gender-based beliefs.  In other words, it was an arrow shot out of my bow with the intention of pricking a soft spot, and it did!  Of course anyone can and should change their minds, and I want all Beloveds to change their minds on everything.  I want you to question everything you have ever believed about anything and see if it is really true for you and if you still need to believe it.

Start with all the gender type-casting beliefs that you have ever held.  Anything that tells you that a male or female identity qualifies the owner with specific (of species) traits or aspects, that the other gender does or does not have, and which specially (as in of the species) qualifies one or the other to have a leg up on survival, so to speak.  Don’t just think your ideas.  Actually get still and be quiet, do your mindfulness breathing, ask your inner wisdom, and listen.  If you are unable to come up with some gender notions to question that is indeed AWESOME!  And I am not going to suggest any gender notions to be questioned, for the exact reason I am attempting to get across to you this uber important, ultimate, paramount fact:  You know the answers!  You are the Wise One.  Trust your innate wisdom on this!

However, should a gender notion come up for you, and then you go inside to question its validity, trust that this is a belief you hold, and that it is true for you, the every day, ego-self you. Your nervous system holds on to the belief in order to keep you safe.  If you state the belief when you go inside, and then feel a signal in your body of discomfort, or what I like to call “yuck”, that’s a signal that you are holding onto an idea that may not be serving you any more.  It is a ‘true’ belief for you.  But, don’t confuse that with The Truth, because it’s not.

The real Truth is that a gender designation is not who You true-ly are, and does not define or limit you unless you allow it to, which is fine, if it’s serving to keep you secure and protected.  But if it no longer serves you as a belief, especially if it is particularly uncomfortable when you run it by your internal “Yum-Yucker”, then it can be changed, altered, replaced or discarded if you choose.   If it’s a thought about the way you see the world and you are not finding it useful anymore, if it is interfering with your comfort, then simply thank the energy for being there for you for all these years,  and then tell it “You can go. I don’t need you anymore, right now.”  Try not to conceptualize anything, just keep noticing the feeling in your body as you have this conversation with your own energies.

There’s a simple analogy I can share with you, not related to gender issues because you’re on your own for questioning these and all beliefs that you might like to put under the Mindful Microscope. But for an an example that might help to clarify, as I have been asked to do, please catch my next blog.

For now, suffice it to say, that dialoguing with your own energetic Inner Self, your Innocent Inner Child, will allow you to eliminate these conditioned, self-limiting, sometimes downright insidious, beliefs from your nervous system.  If the belief is “Yucky”, it no longer serves you, though have no doubt that it once did or it would not be there.  But “yucky” is not who you are.   I cannot  underline enough the importance of first acknowledging the ideas and appreciating them for once being useful to your energy system, even if it was in a past life or what is very common, an inherited belief from ancestors, especially through your parents. Then, once you have done this, if the notions are no longer serving You— the boss of your own energy — the system is so smart, it will just let the ‘yucks’ go in a brilliant example of cosmic conservation.

Just try it!  And remember, if you would like more clarification using an analogous example of how our beliefs can  influence us and how by changing them, we change our whole world—or if you would just like to read an interesting personal flat earthstory— then please, just  ask!

Till next time…



Love, Cath


Why “Love TOY” so much?

In the past few weeks since beginning this blog, I have been asked “Why?” about several aspects of Love Toy Wisdom.   So I have decided at this time to reply to, and in some ways, to reiterate, what I have already explained. Namely this:

We repeatedly and habitually tell our own hearts how much we love them, saying   “I Love You” over and over, as a way of giving them the expression of the love…attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance, and allowance…that we may never have been given, or never got enough of when we were children.   Why?

In order to ground Love into our being, as counter-conditioning for all the subconscious conditioning we picked up as little kids, we tell ourselves how much we are loved.  This childhood subconscious conditioning has been running patterns in our minds and bodies that tell us we’re not good enough, or worthy of, or deserving of happiness, success, abundance, etc. and these fearful patterns wreck havoc on our relationships.  We need to un-learn those years of deep hypnosis-like effect on our nervous system.   Repetition is the way… especially out loud, spoken directly so as many of the senses can be reached in the process.  Why?

It is important to reach all of the senses because that is the doorway through which we first received the original ideas that led to our belief that we are something separate from and other than a unique expression of the  beautiful Divine being of the God Source Nature.  It is like returning to the womb, or ground of creation with our statements.  We are making up for it in all dimensions, time, and space and for all timelines we may find ourselves in.

It is also most certain that we do not get enough of that special love now, as so-called grown-ups, because in truth, as adults, we give ourselves very little opportunity to just play in the sandbox of self-love.  Somewhere along the line we may have been taught that it is “selfish”, or “self-indulgent” or “self-centered” with the implication that these are “bad” things… that is, to be avoided at all costs.  Which is just “propaganda” put out by the Tribe in order to preserve its rules and regulations, and as just a point of view and a judgment, easily overwritten by a mind equally capable of choosing for itself.

Once we get down to the basic energy, which is Love, then we have a tabula rasa for creating a new sense of who we really are, a new identity based on the truth, which is that there is no limit to the capacity of the human heart to give and to receive love. And of course, the blessing and the miracle is that when we can love whatever arises in our lives, because we have the essential strength of loving ourselves, then each experience in life is either reflecting that love or giving us opportunities to put it into practice.  It’s all a win-win situation!

So, in summary, we follow LOVE TOY Wisdom…that is Loving the One You’re With…  in order to anchor vibrationally the Love for which we have an opening, if not a craving, for in our hearts.

Matt Kahn, of True Divine Nature, calls it “The Love Revolution” and he explains it beautifully  and with a transmission of energy that will also help to anchor something awesome in your heart.  Watch his video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFS84Jp1qfc and be sure to catch my next blog  when I explain more about soul masturbation.

Love mantra TDN    raven from facebookI love you!  LTOYW

How Do I Practise LTOYW? Part Two

This, the second introductory blog on How to Practise Love TOY Wisdom will cover : How to send emails to your own heart, which was introduced in Part One, and it is also going to teach a little bit about the how and why of cascading a daily flood of “I Love You’s” to your own heart as a therapeutic  practice.

The idea of sending emails to your own heart comes from the recent teachings of a new favourite spiritual teacher of mine, Matt Kahn of True Divine Nature.  I invite you to look him up and for an awesome experience join his upcoming series of teachings called Angel Academy 3 that begins on September 27th.   His idea of telling your own heart “I love you” whenever you are feeling fear, or anger, or sadness, or at any time you feel dis-comfort, is such a simple thing to do.  The difficult part is when you are in the moment of a reactive response to be able to make the switch in your usual mindset and choose to speak to your own heart FIRST!

Remember as a child when you were taught to count to ten before reacting to someone’s insults or behavior?  This is  because that is how long it took the brain to go from the stimulus response/fight or flight reactive mode of the primitive brain stem (a.k.a. the “dinosaur brain”) when your heart pumps faster and your blood pressure rises,  cortisol and adrenaline rush in to protect you from a perceived threat to having the impulse move into the limbic or emotional brain (a.k.a. the “doggy-horsey brain”) where you would have a feeling or emotional response to the stimulus which will either be fear-based or love-based.

Then after ten seconds, the impulse has moved through and into the frontal lobes of the thinking brain (the “human” brain) where all that conditioning I spoke about in September 18th’s blog entry called Part One of “How Do I Practise Love TOY Wisdom?” is contained.  Here, in the so-called rational mind also lies all those subconscious beliefs, judgments and ideas picked up when our brains were on automatic record as infants, toddlers, and very young children.  Which means that in actual fact, when we are in our human brain, thinking about what has happened and how to respond, we are still very much in a reactive mode.  In fact, in many ways it is worse than fighting back with words or fists or running away and hiding which is what young children automatically do when they are triggered to feel unsafe.  (Classic example is a two year old’s tantrum!)

So, you might be asking, why shouldn’t we allow our thinking, rational brain to kick in and make a choice for us?   Why is Cathy saying that thinking and responding is not a good idea?  Well, I’m saying this for a very simple reason, which may seem too simplistic when you first consider it but that is the beauty of Love TOY Wisdom.  And the reason is this:  IF you are in a situation where you have anger, fear, sadness, doubt, or dis-comfort (dis-ease) of any kind, then first of all you are NOT IN ALIGNMENT with your true self, with your true divine nature and second of all, it was your thinking brain/ego mind that got you there in the first place! 

What this means is, thinking will not get you back into alignment.  Feeling will!  This is using your heart-mind, which is far more wise and intuitive than modern science used to make us believe but which the new studies like those of HeartMath  are proving to be true.  The heart has more “knowingness” than the brain because of its ability to tap into the universal consciousness and instantly scan for solutions to challenges.  If this seems a little “out there”, then keep reading future Love TOY Wisdom blogs, because I will go deeper into the teachings as we go.

For now, all that is needed is an awareness that we need to choose to focus on our hearts when we are out of alignment or out of happiness and joy which is our true nature, and thus stay out of our thoughts which have all those conditioned patterns running the show.  And to do that, just as we do in mantra meditation, when we replace the random or rising thoughts with a mantra, we substitute whatever else may come up in our response to an upset with the words “I Love You” directed with focus and intentionality to our own heart.  We can even place a hand on our heart as we speak the words…and it is best to say them out loud, though just thinking them is a great place to start.  Then, we repeat the “I Love Yous” several times or until we FEEL BETTER, where “feeling better” is code for Moving back into alignment with our true self.

How often do you repeat?  Until you feel Safe and comfortable again.

When do you do this? Whenever you feel un-safe and un-comfortable!

Matt Kahn calls this sending emails to your own heart.  You could call it sending love letters to your own heart.  It is actually expanding the heart-space to be more and more open to receiving love, just as your inbox expands as you receive more and more emails. And unlike the capacity of your server, there is no limit to the heart…it is boundless and infinite, ever-expanding for as far and as wide and as long as you allow it to go.

Now, I add one other practice, just to make the heart muscle a bit stronger emotionally in the moment of upset, and that is to take a minute or two before each meal, just as if  saying a prayer of gratitude which you can do right after the practice, and also again right before going to sleep, like a bedtime prayer, and that is to speak to your heart and say “I Love You” repeatedly for that short 60 to 120 seconds.  And the way you say it is lovingly, gently, kindly, as if you were speaking to a three-year old child.   Speak the words out loud, or whisper them if you don’t feel comfortable vocalizing out loud, and even to just think them does exercise the feeling muscles and expand the heart-space.  Best practice however, whenever possible, is to say “I Love You” out loud, hand on heart, sweetly, soothingly, happily, lovingly, in any way just like you were speaking to your little child self.

But wait! Oh my gosh!  You are speaking to your little child self.  That beautiful inner child, innocent child, who sometimes gets scared and feels un-safe and needs soothing in a way she or he may never have been soothed before, or at least not that you can remember.   This is a super special topic for future blogs and is not necessary to be fully informed about for the process introduced here to work.  In fact, the best way to approach all this when starting out, is with that original tabula rasa innocence and “Just Do It!”

So, that is how to send emails to your own heart, which is a foundational part of Love Toy Wisdom, or Loving the One You’re With.   I like to say that it makes every day Valentine’s Day.  I promise that if you start putting Love Toy Wisdom into practice as outlined here, then you will experience more happiness and more joy in a very short period of time.

Stay tuned for “How Do I Practise Love TOY Wisdom? Part Three” for even more actions to take to “Love The One You’re With”.

Hands on Heart and pledge allegiance to your own healing!   Matt Kahn 1  raven from facebook I love you!    LTOYW.