It’s been awhile! And it’s been quite a tumultuous journey since last I wrote in this blog. I have been places and done things; had compelling experiences; moved half-way across my country. And I am still here, now, the same soul, if not a little bit wiser and a whole lot happier, which actually means, decidedly more self-referred, self-aware, and self-fulfilled.
Writing has been so good for me during my heart healer hiatus: poetry, prose, journaling, random notes on quirky things. Pages and pages. Oodles and oodles of printer ink cartridges and reams of paper later it has all been currently synthesized to one revelation. It’s a conclusion actually:
I am so tired of people in the spiritual community telling me, and everyone else out there who eagerly listens for some guidance for making their way in this crazy existence we are experiencing now in the world, that we have to find our purpose; that we are here for a reason and that it behooves us to figure that out so that we can be happy. Some even go so far as to say that they have the answers for us: this book, this product, this video, this podcast, this course. I especially get my heart hackles up for the ones who say that once we find our purpose and start living it, the money will flow.
Well, in this dualistic planet of existence there has to be an opposite or a contrast and that would be, NOT having a purpose, being here for NO Reason and that the answers for how to find IT and live IT are not ‘out there’ in that book or with that particular speaker. Finally, what if money doesn’t flow when you’re in your purpose?
Here’s the thing about all this: believing that you have a purpose to DO anything is the voice of the ego. I’ll say that again: Believing that you have to DO anything is the voice of your ego. Which means, listening to, following, paying money to , or buying the book of any of these people is feeding your spiritual ego. Which is why I have been gradually cutting the umbilicals with my students. They, like you and every other Being on this planet, already have everything they need to live their purpose because that is their purpose: to Be here now experiencing Life.
You and I are aspects of Source energy manifested into form for the ‘soul/sole purpose’ of experiencing Itself in all its variations. That’s it! Anything else, as I say to my dear friend and former student Kate, who was an interior designer in her one movie that ended a long time ago and now she is in a new show about leadership, teaching, and grandmotherhood (Yeay! Kate): Beloved, the rest is just furniture, or wallpaper, or throw pillows. Just decoration and as such is esthetically pleasing but NOT essential to the basic design nor to the function of that design. So knocking ourselves out trying to be ‘authentic’ or ‘living our truth’ by doing this or that and following this technique, or holding this belief, doing that affirmation, etc. etc. is overlooking the most important part: You already are living your purpose or you wouldn’t be here. It’s that simple.
What if your purpose was to experience struggle and heartache, poverty and homelessness, indecision and uncertainty? So what? It’s only the ego that tells us that there is a ‘problem’ with that because there is a belief that it is ‘bad’, or ‘uncomfortable’ and therefore ‘un-wanted’. Which then means in a very insidious way that we are denying ourselves, negating our very existence and the real truth of what we are living for. To have experiences of Life is our purpose—Life in whatever forms we manifest, because whatever manifests is exactly what we are here to experience. It can be no other way.
If that looks like running on the spiritual treadmill, then do it. You created it. If believing that you have a Special Purpose beyond Pure Existence floats your boat, then believe it. Sail away!
However, do not stress about getting it right. You can’t get it wrong, Beloveds.
My grandkids watched “Super WHY” on TV and I have to say, I love that it gets kids curious about reading, using fairy tales and story-telling, because we all know the four year old who keeps asking “Why?” until he is discouraged by his caregivers who have forgotten that this is the key question of the Universe. Why? Why? Why?
For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, the animated super-hero characters explore books to find answers to everyday problems, often with a moral prerogative. It teaches values and that it is important to ‘solve problems’. Which is so far okay, and it is cool to use archetypes like kids with special powers to figure things out. But what if instead, we taught kids that they already had all the answers and these weren’t the only answers. How about ending each episode with: “And what else can you discover about this tale?” For example, “What else could Little Red Riding Hood do with her leftover cookies rescued from the wolf at Grandma’s house?'” Or, even more essential, “Who else could Little Red Riding Hood be if she wasn’t her family’s little messenger girl?”
Possibilities….that’s the key to every “why” we may ever ask! We abide in an ever-expanding, infinitely abundant Universe and the potentiality for being and manifesting whatever we desire is endless as well. Infinite and immortal, in fact. However, since most of us poor old-paradigm-ly conditioned souls believe in limitation and lack, we have given up on the one most important corollary to “Why?” and that is “Why not?”
Why homelessness? Why a pandemic? Why war? Why poverty? Why cancer? Why loss? Why heartbreak? Why a flood in the basement? Why a three day power outage? Why divorce?
Why not? It is what it is. It’s contrast and opportunity to feel everything and to recognize our desires in the face of our suffering. It’s Life and we’re here in it, though not of it, and that’s a whole other kettle of fish best saved for the future.
Nevertheless, as the Livers, (not to be confused with the toxin filtering organ of the body, though just ponder on the allegory here for a moment of us, as spiritual beings, filtering through our individual souls in every breath what is no longer required by the system), we then shut acceptance down at the level of our belief system and we hesitate to examine the thinking that got us there, especially if the belief is tied to a cultural/tribal structure such as a religious doctrine, guru, or spiritual teacher.
The enlightened ego loves to hide in spirituality. It wears it like a mask because it thinks it is safer there than to question “What else is possible?” For example, what if “I” am not here for any specific purpose other than to love myself? OR, even more shocking, what if I am here to experience whatever arises? Just to BE. That in itself is an abundance of infinite possibilities. What if I am here just to be here, now, in this moment, as a being of energy contributing to the field of all that is (i.e. LOVE) with every breath? Period. What if I am simply a liver in the body of All That Is?
Now, isn’t that freedom? Or is that in itself a purpose? Is that perhaps a purpose without borders?
Question everything, Beloveds! Love everything!
And especially, Love the One You’re With!
But, don’t just take my word for it. Feel it for yourself!
P.S. At point of writing, I may or may not be back to blog, since loving myself means choosing the most comforting, nurturing, and equanimitous path in each moment, and today it is being here now in this. So…???